Melancholy

I suddenly entered a melancholic mood. Inexplicably, it seems. Walking around, busier than ever, more potential activities surround me than ever before, yet the blue period returns. Blue period, huh? Yeah, I think that's a fair description. Feelings of homesickness (or is that really a part of it?), feelings of lonelyness even when surrounded by dozens of people and aspiring friends, a life suddenly empty yet so incredibly full. I wonder what might have sparked this inexplicability, yet I shrug to know the answer. My day hasn't been as full as the others. Somehow I've been social without deriving any joy from it, people I've talked to weren't really there, they were merely mirages of the outside world. Inside I seem a mess. What would make me happy? What's true happiness? I stand outside myself, I stand by all the mirages' side, looking at myself with critical eyes. Snap out of it! Get a grip! Yet I can't. I've slipped into this melancholy state unnoticeably, and the self I'm looking at is reluctant to turn towards enlightenment.
Hopefully this will pass.

posted by CK @ 01:34