Life Without Bubbles

I came to a stunning realization the other day, one that might be stunning solely because I want to be a doctor sometime in the future, or simply because I call it a realization. Either way, I discovered that I think I would be much happier not having to listen to all the bad things that happen out there. To my friends, to my family, to strangers I get into conversations with just because I'm bored and try to be a people person, or even to people I never expected to share their troubles with me, like the cafeteria lady or the janitor. In some ways, and I don't mind this because it's slightly cool, my life shares some similarities with the life of J.D. from "Scrubs", but the thing with that is that I also have to harbor everyone else's ponderings with my own. Once in a great, long while, or to be more exact nowadays, every six months, I too get to blurt out whatever's been on my mind to someone who can actually be a satisfying conversational partner. But, due to friend-friend confidentiality (or friend-stranger, or friend-cafeteria lady), much like my favorite doctor-patient confidentiality, I can never share other people's problems with anyone but myself. And that has a way of getting to me, seeing as whenever the conundrum-smitten person is over whatever was ailing them, I'm still carrying it around, pondering it. Sometimes, and this might sound weird, it might be the good kind of problems that's been shared with me, the kind that stays a problem for a while, and then I'm able to revisit the problematic topic with the only person I can, the problem holder.

Now, some things that have been shared with me have really haunted me, things I really wish hadn't been shared with me at all, but that I'm happy got shared anyways for the sake of the person, mostly because some things really break down my beautiful illusion that world is a cotton candy colored place where we do nothing but dance around on flowers all day and where that's totally okay. In fact, the first notion that titled this post was indeed that I'd love for nothing more than to seal myself up in a bubble containing just that fluffy world, where all the negative energy would just bounce off. But, when we get down to it, someone has to be the one who takes the weight off other people's chests, because without them everyone's bubble would explode. And in some sense, I think having people like that, or better yet, being that person, would start making the need for a bubble go away.

Pop.

Labels: Pictures

posted by CK @ 10:30