I Talk to Myself

I do. I don't care how weird it sounds, but I do. At times I wonder if my personality might be split, since I catch myself saying things like "I DO have my key, idiot", like I'm talking to someone beside me, berating the person for a mistake I myself have made. Maybe my psyke is indeed divided, into a "me", the me that sits idly by, the "me" that observes and sort of stays in the background of my 'official' thoughts, and the me that is talking inside my head (not meaning crazy voices here, meaning rather the 'talking' of my thoughts). I wonder if in any way the dual personalities have different qualities, if the core me, the one 'me' that never thinks out loud in my head but still is known to be thinking, is wholly good or wholly anything, or if this 'me', like every other part of me, is comprised of multiple characteristics, so complex and possibly bottomless. Hopefully I'm not alone in thinking this. Try this experiment one day (how about now?): Try to not think any thoughts, try to empty your mind completely and just don't let the "spoken" thoughts in your mind say a thing. Observe. You still seem to have one more layer, one more unpenetrable layer of 'you' that is observing, a speechless thinking that is directing your effort not to expressively think, that is searching your innermost parts to judge whether or not you are thinking. And this part, most possibly, is our smallest denominator, this might just be the expression of our soul. Who knows, this exercise might have the possibility of making you nuts, you keep trying to get under that last layer until you suddenly just snap, but hopefully it will just be vexing. Philosophy class can do this to you.

posted by CK @ 17:06