Patterns and Forces (Let Willy Die)
In the past few weeks, JuJu-Bees and I have been conducting a rather interesting experiment. On both sides of the Atlantic we've been taking random days in our lives, and written extensive logs on all our activities from waking up till going to bed. Associated with the various activities throughout the day, the goal has been to put oneself in an objective position, and to look at what is happening
to us and how this affected the mind and body. The purpose, perhaps self-explanatory, has been to see if the negative forces in our lives is caused either by something arising from within us, or if it is simply a negative flow of energy coming from the outside. My hypothesis has all along been that the latter, namely the environment and the external negative forces, was to blame for my discomfort and unease in this place, but now I have made some important discoveries.
I have discovered a pattern. Patterns are perhaps the most valuable we can derive from experiments like these, and today I might have stumbled across one of the many that could be guiding my life, perhaps in a direction I don't want to go. [...]
[THE REST OF THIS INCOHERENT PITY-PARTY HAS BEEN CENSORED FOR YOUR PROTECTION.]Labels: Philosophy
Money, Root of All Evil
Yes, you read it. 'Evil Money'. As in "my college tuition is 19,000 evil dollars," or even "my bank makes sure I have no evil money left."
Why this sudden discontent with the evil currency, you ask? Well, let me break it down for you.
1.) I got a bunch of friendly Norwegian kroner from my home country for studying abroad.
2.) The college charged me most of these friendly kroner.
3.) The airlines sucked me dry of the rest, with a little help from Wal-Mart, various hotels, and the not-so-evil restaurant called HuHot.
4.) After having passed zero dollars on the way down into the bottomless debt necessary to live a life worth living, and also passing the mark indicating the maximum allowed credit on my Norwegian credit card, I started getting nervous.
5.) After having double the amount of debt allowed in my account, I realized something had to be done.
6.) I then used my MasterCard to pay off my Visa, making sure that both my Visa and MasterCard companies were moderately happy (once again keeping my balance at the very least below the allowed credit on both cards).
7.) Then I had to call my mom and brother, since I hadn't talked to them for many weeks. Cost to replenish Skype credit: $11. Charged to my American Wells Fargo bank account.
Here starts the thing that made me label dollars evil:
8.) Wells Fargo, not half as forgiving about dipping below zero on your account as the Norwegian bank (DNB), charged me $33 for being 3 -three- dollars below zero.
9.) Unaware of the miniscule debt, another day passes. Ka-ching! $33 charged again. In two days my account is spiraling into evil dollar debt. Balance now: -$69.
10.) This happened after closing on Saturday, and I couldn't do anything after that. So on Sunday: Ka-ching!! Another $33.
11.) Monday: 'Overdraft fee interval period'. Why, thank you, Wells Fargo, that's so... gracious?
12.) I got pretty upset by this, actually angry, and went down to the bank just now to close my account. They had, of course, charged another $33 to the account this morning before opening, and thus I had to pay about $135 today, before attempting to close the account.
13.) "Oh, we're sorry. It seems that you have paid $135.14 into the account today, and thus we can't close your account before the checks clear and we can give you back the 14 cents left over."
14.) "But can't you just take those 14 cents, and close my account?"
15.) "No, sorry, company policy. But feel free to come back in a few days when the checks clear, and you can have your 14 cents back!"
Grrr... Now I had to charge over a 100 evil dollars to my Norwegian account as a result of the THREE EVIL DOLLARS that I had overdrawn, so now I'm in debt in Norway again as well. Grrrrrrreat.
Labels: Episode Accounts, Money
Bright Prospects
Sometimes I guess taking too long to decide something actually hurts more than it can ever be helpful, in that overthinking and overanalyzing things tends to crush the options before they get a chance to truly show their true colors. For the people I haven't already told; the jury has reconvened and the verdict is in.
I am moving back to Norway, and staying there for what now seems like the rest of my twenties, maybe longer.The 'roots', mentioned in the previous post, as well as factors such as cost, comfort, psychological stability, peace of mind, love of Norway, the security of being 'home', Norwegian food, language and people, Oslo, and of course the freedom that comes with having citizenship in the country where you live and have always lived all had a part in my decision. Hawai'i and Kansas will either have to wait till another time or join the ranks of the "would-have-been"s, because for now I'm coming home. Thanks go out to Julie, my dad and brother for helping me keep my priorities straight.
In related, happy news is the event of me finally
getting my driver's license! It cost me a total of $2, which is 14 kroner, and was conceived this Tuesday, after a somewhat nervous (not all that nervous when I learned it took 10 minutes, but hey) driving test at 8:30 am. And yes, I did put a different picture in the drivers license pic to the right, because the real one.. well, not so much.
More good news, for me that is, seeing as the weather in Sioux Falls has taken a record turn. Starting last week, and still going even stronger, are the sunny, 80 degree days that have settled on our campus. 80 degrees is something like 27 degrees Celsius, so this is truly great. And now we're on the second break of the month, Easter break for 4 days, so this is working out perfectly. Summer's found its way to SooFoo, and I'm not complaining. This is sweet!
Dedicating the rest of the post to pics I felt like sharing. Have a happy Easter!!
A 'Victor style' picture of some of the newfound summer fun.
What a throwing arm!
You know you love the fluffy squirrels. You know you do.
Welcome back to the birds. Welcome to summer.
Either I fell, or trying to be artistic. Probably the latter.
The AZ familiy sent me this dog as part of my birthday present back in February. Notice the heart inscription.Labels: News, Pictures
My Deep Roots and Other Great Analogies
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Maybe surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel alone
I just wanna go home
Oh I miss you, you know [...]
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I'm lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I've got to go home
Let me go home
I'm just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I'm living someone else's life
It's like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
That this is not your dream
But you always believed in me
- "Home" by Michael Buble.
As always, there are people who know how to put things a million times better than we can, and this time I found my issue themed so well in a song.
I talked to my dad the other day, and during our conversation I told him about my indecision,
my conundrum, regarding next year's plans, and as always he wasn't of much help. It's not that he didn't try, of course, and the past few years I think I have noticed somewhat of a growth in him as well. He's grown more understanding in many ways, and actually seems to have grown right in to the patient, understanding dad-role my brother and I have always hoped would come. We had our little talk on the phone, and when I mentioned that I wasn't sure what choice, path or whatever other kind of clichee road I would choose, the aforementioned unhelpfulness became truly apparent. Deriving energy from some mysterious parent place (maybe there's a manual), he calmly told me that he would support and stand by me a hundred percent no matter what my choice is, and that he was proud of me for doing all that I have done so far anyways, that he would be immensely proud of me even if I had chosen to become a street sweeper or say, garbage man. Oh, incredibly nice, somewhat comforting, but not what I need. What I need now is for someone to take my hand and step in front of me, and lead me through the maze of doubts, fears and confusions. I am the only one who can make the call, I guess, and the road to a decision is cluttered with many thoughts, feelings and advice. My dad would love to have me back, he said, but what he found more important is what I think would be best for me..
I am on my own on this one. I must make some major, life altering decisions by myself, decisions that will impact my life and future happiness. Is that what's at stake? Sure, to my dad small decisions like ham or cheese on my shcool lunch were fine, but when it comes to the big ones I'm pretty much on my own. Not exactly what I call a picnic.
My dad seems to have developed his analogical side a bit, and used it to make an important point. He warned me of the pitfalls of taking too long to decide, in fact, he emphasized that I shouldn't let the trains of my life leave the station if there was a chance I wanted to be on one of them. I agreed, telling him that I am planning on buying tickets to all the various trains (applying to the different schools, etc, for those not following), and that I would get on the right one when I know which one it is. Now, I am procrastinatory about this decision, probably out of fear of making the wrong one and the implications of such a move, but hopefully I will know before the trains start up their engines.
Relating back to the song lyrics above, I need to emphasize the apparent importance of my roots in my life. My roots are, like many people's, my friends and family, and most of my roots are naturally back in Norway. Just like a tree cut down and shipped overseas, I imagine that I cannot live without my deep roots and that I am faced with two choices; growing new ones (which takes years and might not be possible because of the difference of the soil) or returning to my old and well grounded ones. I do indeed feel amputated without my roots, and now the question has become if I'm ready to endure this indefinetely until some new roots grow out (and the old ones wither and die).
I am at a fork in the road, one certain trail has divided into exactly four other ones, and I am stuck at the junction. I'd like time to stop, and for me to be able to put off making the decision forever, but I guess freezing time's just not in my imaginary backpack of skills. Sadly enough. Time, darn it, keeps rolling, and the hour of determination draws near. But, I will be ready. I will have an answer.
It's just my life we're talking about, after all.
Labels: Philosophy, Pictures, Ponderings
