Every year, like most people, I make myself a nifty list of new year's resolutions destined to all be broken by the time the fireworks stop crackling overhead. Most of the items on the list turn into mere year guidelines than actual rules or resolutions, picked and chosen by fate and continuously fighting the adversarial free will, bad judgment, and constitutional weaknesses once said to make us human. Since this year is special, and marks the end of the decade started out so optimistically with the Y2K hysteria back in 2000, I figured I'd add a twist to this year's last post. It's time to take stock of the passing year before resolving to improve anything in the new one - and so that's exactly what I'll do. This, friends, is my official 2009 Life Lesson Recap.
A. People are unpredictable at best, irrational at worst.
This is no surprise to most of us, if you poke your head out the door frequently enough to connect with other life forms. But, as all lessons, this one did also have to be relearned this year. Much has been said and ranted about among my friends for the past month about my recent altercation with my own environment, but little has come from me about the most recent incident to derail my carefully crafted educational plan. Now, the circumstances of the big problem of this December are mostly irrelevant, except for the disproportional effect it managed to cause and the monumental misjudgment on my part of my own presumed friends. I realized I'm not always - and my actions and intentions aren't always - perceived as I'd like to think or hope they are. The people I surrounded myself with, once believed to be friends and now carefully clustered with the faker faction of the college population, decided in secrecy during the course of the last semester that my behavior was out of line and inappropriate. So far so good, as no one is aware of the full extent of their impact on others, and since changing behaviors in response to external guidance is a basic human trait; simple communication would solve the problem, and life would be more easily lived in a house because of it. But, that being said, simple communication isn't always that.. well, easy for some.
Place twelve random strangers in a house with no precognition of each other, and you have a recipe for social disaster unless the unknown is disarmed by maturity. And in this case, that was not the case. Instead of open and mature conversation about any problem, ranging from dish washing to respecting feelings, the house resolved internal conflicts by the 'carpet' method; shove the uncomfortable problems under the rug and hope it disappears (but, of course, keep adding to the mess' size by piling onto it while no one can see it), and after a while the problems can't be contained by a mere rug anymore. Under the surface of the ill-fated house were so many different problems, my own included, and when the rug exploded the shortest straw turned out to be mine. Channeled into the massive clean-up operation were everyone's frustrations, issues, dramatic tendencies and immature half-truths, all designed to be (hopefully) thrown out with the (sacrificial) bath water.
As we mature, most of us see that the ways we deal with uncomfortable issues are limited if we seek a balanced, truly resolving outcome. In our toolbox we have confrontation, (the Christian concept of) forgiveness, and lastly the necessary glue of hope for change. If any one of those aren't used in healing a house, the foundation will crumble faster than we might think. The friends.. excuse me, "friends" I surrounded myself with in the house this fall violated them all, twisting confrontation into a guessing game where no one knew if my negative behavior had been addressed face to face (and not just in secrecy, brewing the venomous environment they themselves then fostered), and killing forgiveness altogether by slaughtering the concept of hope (and trust in potential for change) before its inception. The fake smiles and pledges of friendship all the while exhibited outwardly by them is atrocious and sad, testifying to the true core of their character. But, that being said, I really am over it. I did something wrong, then I was wronged myself, and thus the balance (of two wrongs making a right) has been upheld. I see myself more clearly, I saw them for what they were, and we all profited. I will go on with my life with true, mature and self-respecting friends, and I have shed their heavy layers.
B. (We need a B after all that?) Family Matters.
Yeah, I know you knew that. I knew that too, but not as much as this summer. Back in Norway, the true meaning of family became clearer than ever as my immediate family took an unhealthy turn for the worse, a spiral that only continued the minute I was on the plane back to Sioux Falls. But, family is mainly a support network of love, and despite its flaws I now see that my family can bond together during times of tribulation. That's good to know.
C. People Come and Go.
No matter how much I thought my best friends through junior high would be there until I died, they're not a part of my life anymore. Past loves and recent friendships fall by the wayside every year, but now I realize this happens to all of us. We have a few people that stay with us, including family, for which I am more grateful than ever.
D. It Starts With #1.
Without loving yourself, you're nothing. Any positive change we make has to start on the inside and radiate out, and any other anchoring will fall short of our potential. Self-respect, self-understanding, and self-protection are all necessary to be happy, and until we have these, no endeavor can fully succeed or make us happy. Healthy boundaries and time for the self through reflection and enjoyment of life is key.
It's been a long year (365.25 days I hear), and many things have taken place and been started or completed between January 1 and December 31. No post can capture all our yearly growth, so I'll cut myself off here. I know every year is better than the last - after all, we have another year to build on.
I might be a pretty busy student at times, and with the move to a college-owned theme house I figured life as a student would be easier in some ways. True.. and also false.
Now, the people I live with are great, and so is the house itself. The 50" plasma, table tennis, and ample space for studying and hanging out all make it worthwhile, despite the fact that the laundry facilities are.. well, expensive. Actually, as far as I know, the laundry in our house is way more expensive than in the rest of the theme houses (not to mention the other dorms). Laundry machines in our house charge a steep $1 per wash and $1 for drying, vs the $0.75 and $0.50 in other campus housing. If my math is correct, that means theme house residents have to pay 100% more than others for drying and 75% more for washing clothes, which you'd think would be basic, elementary services in a house that's a home to 12 students.
The math is even more frustrating when considering what a given student pays per academic year in laundry fees, given that we do laundry about twice a week. This adds up to about $184 ($2 twice a week for 46 weeks) per student (about $2,200 in profit is generated by our house for laundry alone), which is $69 more than any other student on campus (they're paying about $115). Now, factor in the higher cost of theme house living per year ($4512 vs $3856 for a single room), and it's easy to see how charging the theme house students more for laundry when they're already paying more just to live in a house simply isn't fair.
The college let us all have access through our door cards to other, cheaper laundry facilities in the dorms in the beginning, before they put the 'deluxe VIP crazy high-charge' laundry machines in the house, and then they revoked the option when that was done. In other words: stick it to the theme house students. The outrage for me is, when considering that I pay about $19,000 a year to study at Augie, that you'd think the $69 extra for laundry could've been skipped. Simply giving back the freedom to do laundry where ever we please, at the price level the masses already enjoy, would be enough of a sign of good will towards the students trying to make a difference through living in special, themed houses. Augie: stop squeezing the last dollars out of poor students unless you have to. You're rich enough.
A couple of days ago, I had a realization. Not so much a new one, but the notion finally congregated into a tangible concept in my mind for the first time. I was sitting in the dining room of our house, and looking up at the trusty wall clock in the kitchen I noticed it was 5:15 in the morning, and I'd been studying for 11 hours. The next day was an exam, and I was underprepared and overwhelmed.
In situations like those it's easy to blame life, claiming some extraordinary force is influencing you in a direction you don't want to go. And a lot of people do this, whether it be blaming God or fate, luck or karma. Eventually, though, you have to wonder: What exactly was your own part in the events that precipitated this very moment or situation/circumstance? How did you, subconsciously or consciously, affect the course of your own life and the intrinsic value - good or bad - supposedly contained in the concept of fate?
My second realization this week, midterm week, was one of responsibility. I bombed a test (or two, I'll never feel comfortable admitting defeat), and the psychological aftermath was daunting. A pattern emerged, in my own life, revealing the fact that when it comes down to brass tax, when I evaluate the causes and effects leading me to the status quo, I am the only one responsible for what happens to me and for me. Sure, people might try to affect you and diverge your path in good or bad ways, but in reality the concept of choice (free will) still ends up being the deciding factor in the outcome.
As a part of this line of thought and general feeling that I am indeed my own worst enemy at this point in time, I have compiled a list of (not quite a million) ways I continuously work against myself, ways I truly self-sabotage for (as of now) unknown reasons. Enjoy, while I writhe in discomfort.
1. Convincing myself that pulling an all-night cram session before any exam will leave me more than half educated and less than fully exhausted.
2. Believing I have the superpower of accelerated learning, giving rise to the practice of only cracking the book for an exam a mere 24 hours before the actual exam.
3. Never doing the problems. This one is nonsensical, but still persists: I'm greatly allergic to homework problems, somehow believing them to take away from my free will and thus, sense of freedom. If I never do them, at least I won't feel like the problems own me (or my time).
4. Reviewing notes or reading ahead is for nerds and the 'slower' guys - CK surely doesn't need to see/hear information more than once (3 times seems like thrice the agony).
5. Believing, truly, that watching either Heroes or House will somehow transmit knowledge of medicine, a special power (to learn), or instigate incredible problem solving skills (see #3 though) simply by relaxing the brain and "taking care of myself."
6. The treacherous power of justification. Anything can be rationalized or justified if you have the right angle - adding phantom positives to something usually negative or unwise will yield a favoring of the actions themselves, even though objectively still not the best course to take. TV instead of homework anyone?
7. Socializing, since it makes me happy, surely must affect my academics positively by proxy. Let's talk about our feelings, I can do the genetics problems.. uhm.. after midnight. Right.
8. Not having time to work out stems from the imaginary enormous load of things I have to do, so as soon as I imagine taking care of those (after some Heroes, of course) I will get going on those sit-ups.
9. If I don't seriously try, the outcome doesn't reflect my ability (only the effort I put in). This means that if I never do the problems and fail a test, I'm not too stupid to understand genetics, I simply didn't try hard enough. Now the failure is a step removed, and I don't have to internalize the consequences.
10. If you can't win, don't play. This gives rise to the self-defeatist attitude that devolves into environmental blame, once again removing the quality of the outcome from my own character. Hey, the game's rigged, there's no way to win, so throwing the game makes more sense.. no?
11. Sleep is (one of) the best feelings in the world. Sleeping has a million positive effects on us, with the added bonus of making us alert and focused if enough is had. And by enough I usually mean going to bed at 3 AM and sleeping until I at least missed genetics or religion. Hey, at least I'm rested, right? That is paramount in today's overly stressed world (wait, we had a test today? Ooops).
12. It's okay to have junk food, snacks and any form of sugar when I'm doing homework, studying for a test, or generally needing the extra energy. Never mind that I'm cracked up daily anyways, plus I have an unfortunate caffeine habit, my brain biologically NEEDS the refined sugars to function, damn it!
13. The study plan I made is mostly for peace of mind, and looking at it more than once (when I type it up) is useless.. who stays organized nowadays anyhow?
14. Distractions are meant to be followed. People who are that random and that impulsive surely lead more interesting, fun lives. Never mind that I won't get my studying done - we're having popcorn during the movie! Hm.. what was I saying?
15. Schedules are for control freaks. By which I mean I might have made one (four), but that following it would be limiting myself and my freedom.
16. Doing it later means having more time right now.. to think about what to do later, do nothing, or do something fun, all of which should be repeated when it comes time to do 'it' later - which in most cases will be postponed indefinitely.
Okay. There it is. The written form of my self-accusation, put on paper (screen) to make it undeniable to myself: I'm my own worst enemy, with the potential of being my own best friend. It sounds weird, I know, but self-promotion has a long-standing tradition in this country, and those who aren't doing it fall behind.. far behind. The promotion of my own skills, potential, intelligence and acquisition of knowledge should not be a negative and chore-related concept; the fun and joy will come from the positive consequences. It's not enough to dream, as dreams without actions remain simply good intentions. And let's be honest: I'm better than that.
I recently completed my mandatory rotation in the McKennan ER, where I usually volunteer, during which time I had the chance to sit down with patients in a different way than I usually do. One of the patients I got to talk to was a 22 year old guy, who had come in for a diffuse set of symptoms, including a headache and stomach pain. What I got to talking to him about, though, had little to do with his current ailments, and more to do with the kind of society we have become.
The guy, let's call him David, told me while waiting for the doctors to finish up their array of tests, that he'd been struggling with a general feeling of depression and unexplained sadness for the past 3 years. He had had a pretty normal childhood and adolescence, and even though his parents were divorced, he was mostly well adjusted in his various social contexts. When consulting his physician about the depression, there were no probing questions on what might have contributed to the mood disorder, what could have sparked the feelings, or any advice to try exercise or counseling. After the 10 minute consultation, David was prescribed 100 mg of Zoloft (an antidepressant) to take daily, which he had done every day since.
David told me he felt much better the very next hour after taking these new pills, and all of a sudden had a much brighter outlook on life. Gone were the feelings of sadness and anxiety, depression and irritation, and in their place a new, happier David was finally getting stuff done. He felt like a new person, and things that would usually have gotten him worried or sad would now bounce off him like a cat on a hot tin roof. He would smile for no reason, instead of cry for no reason, and could not help but to enjoy the medication he was now reliant on to function adequately.
This gave me a few things to think about, a few things to ponder if you will. The first part is the obvious one, whether or not doctors are doing too little to actually treat their patients with psychological afflictions. I think they absolutely are, and I think that the way pills are being pushed so naturally as the 'magic' solution to all our problems nowadays is borderline disgusting, and all the way saddening. The lack of appreciation for the complexity of our minds, beyond the basic and chemical, seems all too prevalent, and the easy way out of solving problems in this intricate cognitive organ we know as our brain. It is very true that the symptom of depression (or the symptom causing depression) is due to a chemical imbalance in the brain, but thanks to growing patient lists and increased time pressure docs usually don't have the time to dig much deeper than this. They opt for the easy way out, the quick fix, and parcel out pill after pill as if they were fantastic Tic-Tacs.
The solution to this problem (since I'm trying hard to be solution and not problem oriented here) is simple. Doctors don't necessarily need to spend more time with their patients, for that this health care system is too skewed and would just push those doctors out of business (because, sadly, people's health has become big business like nothing else). What physicians have forgotten is their primary responsibility to treat, and not simply mask, the patients' conditions. In 2006, an estimated 227 million antidepressant prescriptions were given out to Americans, more than any other class of meds around. This is a sign of our sad (but not antidepressant worthy) times, where pills have taken the place of psychotherapy and lifestyle changes, and where millions of Americans rely on a pharmaceutical crutch to get them through a normal day. If doctors aren't demanded to try healthier, more far-reaching and definite treatment options before throwing pills at it, and we just open our mouths and say "ah," nothing will change and we will keep hoping that what's ultimately hiding at the bottom of that pill jar is true happiness.
That brings me to the next question on my mind about David's and everyone else's story. Are our emotions really nothing more than chemicals sent over synapses in the brain? Are we defined by our serotonin? Is it really possible to change our entire view of the world by digesting a single, white pill? The last question has a verifiable answer, being yes, which would be very evident just considering how the industry of illegal drugs (think Ecstasy or Meth) is banking on this very fact. When considering the others, I am not that sure. I won't - in fact, I refuse - to believe that concepts such as love are purely due to any amount of chemicals in our brains, or that the very essence of our character and being, our soul, can be expressed in any empirical formula.
Pills with the power to alter our moods are in many ways eerie to me. They alter our moods - but do they then also in turn alter our identity, our personality, who we are? Is some little, or big, piece of us lost when we block it out with medications? I am not sure, but I definitely see that possibility. No, we shouldn't live in a sad, depressed world every day if we don't have to. But does the alteration of how we think, how we act, also in turn impact who we are as human beings? That is a heavy price to pay if that is the case, for a day of happiness.
Yeah, pills can tweak - and in some cases completely alter - our moods and mood swings for the better. I appreciate that, and think it's great that people with irremediable psychological afflictions not helped by therapy or other methods have a final, sure-fire resort. That's just it, though, it has to be the last tried alternative. Pills help us feel better for about a day, but without the pills the problems would resurface immediately. Medicine has not traditionally been about quick fixes or shortcuts, but our 'fast' food and 'fast' results driven society has regrettably been allowed to spill over into health care - fielding the advent of 'magic' pills. We're forgetting that an absence of sadness rarely constitutes happiness, which would rather come from digging deeper and resolving the actual, underlying issues. It takes time, yes, but we've got time. Especially when it comes to our own psyche.
Some things in this world are pretty self-evident. The sun rises in the morning, we breathe air and the grass is green. Pepper goes with salt, friends are the opposite of enemies, and doing the right thing always pays off in the end.. wait, that last one is actually not all that true. At least not from what I've seen so far, and that's what I want to talk to you about. Karma is, as the saying goes, a bitch.
In my ideal world, hard work is rewarded, and good things pay huge dividends compared to bad things. It should never pay off to choose the wrong path, on purpose. In fact, that's where the mystical order of the world should naturally step in, and bad things should never happen to good people. If only the world we live in was that predictable and logical.. but it's not. Let me walk you through a.. hypothetical example, that happened to.. a neighbor of mine:
Josh was an even-tempered, nice guy who always tried his hardest to please everyone, and to always do the right thing. He overexerted himself to stay on the right path, to be just, and to always follow his strong and deeply rooted principles and morals. He never lied, never tried drugs, or even smoked a cigarette.. and he made sure that his younger brother, uhmm.. Peter.. was always taken care of, no matter how screwed up the rest of his family was. And Josh felt pretty good about this, and was sure that in the end, when push would come to shove and people were to count their marbles (no more metaphores, please), they'd remember the good and right things he'd done, and count him among the select few, among the good guys. That was all he wanted, and except for this the random acts of kindness and helpfulness were all out of selflessness and appreciation for his fellow man.
One day Josh got a true slap in the face, from nowhere. He was going about his business, studying hard for finals and trying to get good grades and finish group projects, in addition to being sociable and hanging out with friends before break. Suddenly, on a Friday before his big tests, he was told that he'd been implicated in something not only big, but of such a nature that he couldn't believe it.. he'd been thoroughly framed for someone else's wrongdoings, simply due to being the perfect sacrificial lamb. Through being the straight arrow that never stood out as anything bad, he'd now been turned into the ultimate scapegoat for other people's inconvenience. In return, the people that had framed him, the people claiming more intensely than ever that he HAD to be the perpetrator, got to sleep soundly at night imagining that they'd found the right guy to blame. When break came around, they all left campus for home, all making themselves believe that their long-fought struggle had now ended, that their ugly chapter had been closed. What they never seemed to consider, though, was Josh' innocence, and the fact that not only was their choice of person to pin the blame on not guilty, he had never done anything mean or evil in his entire life. He did, truly, not even know fully what he had been blamed so thoroughly for, and was now sentenced not only to roam the States for Christmas without any friends to keep in touch with, he had now lost his faith in humanity.
People never seize to amaze me. I have always believed that people jump to conclusions way too fast, and almost every time that is based on really, really faulty information as well as the group effect. The group effect, in Josh' example, refers to the witch hunt process that starts with an intense need to find someone to blame, escalates with someone's ingenious mentioning of a good scapegoat, and ends in everyone reinforcing the belief that they must be right by only discussing their finding with each other, inside the group. If the people in the above example had, at any time, taken the time to not just concoct little schemes internally in the group, fueled by the need for drama, but actually talk to any single one of Josh' friends and close ones, the idea would be dismissed at once.
People are consistent, if nothing else. We have our set ways, our character, and we stick to it. That means, in Josh' case, that it wasn't just unlikely that he'd ever do anything hurtful to other people, nor would he ever scheme, lie, or gossip in any way. By not taking his character and moral values, and their personal experience of his personality, into account when considering his guilt, the group of 'friends' that ultimately decided to try to break him down acted on the weakest of all possible foundations: convenience.
The saddest part of the above example is the character of the people deciding to frame Josh. Not only did they not know Josh very well, obviously, but they were also perfectly content with sacrificing someone whom they've only seen do good and helpful things. At one point, Josh told me, his best friend in the group had also been sold the perfect scapegoat idea, and it took less than a second for her to buy into it.. probably due to the sheer number of people that had already told each other that they thought he was the guy. The best friend, now corrupted and becoming nothing more than a weak tool for the Blame Party to utilize, then proceeded to try to 'lure' and set up Josh by hinting that she was a huge fan of whoever had carried out the original crime. Josh, although baffled and scared by the thought, started suspecting his best friend of being the real McCoy, although he never brought this to anyone's attention before he was in the crap to over his head. When he was then informed that the people he had trusted and leaned on the most were in fact just as brainwashed and hateful as the rest, Josh was out of options, out of ways to defend himself. Without real proof of someone else being the perp, his former friends left campus thinking they could now sleep soundly, and that justice had been served. Little did they know, or care, that the innocent guy now framed was left back at school with no way to prove the truth that now only he believed in.
Karma might not follow the rules of the road, or any other rules for that matter. But truth still does, and it has a way of emerging just as we think it will never come forth. And when it does, when truth sees daylight again, Josh will be there, still hurt and still disappointed, waiting for his apologies. But in the long run, in the end, apologies can never mend this incredible misjudgement of character. Best friends will never be best friends again, and friends will never be friends. Some things, some betrayals, are too much for any relationship to bear. In the end, only justice can heal the wounds now inflicted by people hungry for a quick fix and with a disregard for the actual truth. In the end, justice will be served.
Too often are bad things like lies, deceit, infidelity (cheating), gossip, violence, psychological terror/abuse and other crap rewarded by people everywhere. I see guys cheating and lying, only to be either taken back or kept around in some other form. For the rest of us, who never would even think to breach the trust and hurt a girl like that, this seeming injustice is not only unfair, but sad. The concept of karma, being that of good people being rewarded by good things happening in their lives and vice versa, is not always applied by people around us. This has its reasons, and sometimes the circumstances are mediating, but some ultimate bad acts should still consistently be followed by bad repercussions, or the good acts will all lose their meaning and inherent goodness. If a cheater is taken back after cheating and is shown the same amount of love, what is the point in staying faithful? If a liar is forgiven time after time, why ever speak the truth? If someone who breaks every girl's heart through pure disregard for anything but his own feelings, is not only kept around and held in the same regard as the good guys, but even regarded higher despite this, what is the point in ever doing the right thing or treating the opposite sex with respect and dignity?
It is through the consistent support and forgiveness of evil that it prospers, and by this mechanism how the good acts and intentions lose their meaning. If bad is treated like good, what is the difference? In a perfect world, we would all shun the bad guys and girls, the heart breakers, liars and cheaters, the people who don't care, and make sure they don't get to feed on the positive energy of good things like friendships or attention. We would make the good our standard, and make sure that we make our own karma. Karma is mostly a human made concept, after all, where we through reward and punishment of good and bad deeds make sure justice prevails, and where we make sure our lives contain an abundance of the pure kind of good.
In the last month, a lot of people at Augustana who have recently returned from a study abroad experience have expressed in a number of ways their affinity and appreciation for the American culture and its comforts. I happen to be of the same mindset, but on the other side, I would like to take this opportunity to share with you some of the things that I happen to miss about Norway and, in particular, Oslo. Then maybe I will get the peace of mind from my homesickness long enough to do my homework for the day.
The Ocean
South Dakota is notoriously landlocked, which for a guy who's lived his entire life only a few minutes from the ocean tends to lend itself to claustrophobia. The ocean also represents so many other qualities I couldn't live without for longer amounts of time, like the philosophical substance of it, the smell of salt water, seagulls, islands with picnic and swimming opportunities, beaches, watersports, the feeling of waves, and the sound of the water.
The big city
To most other nationality, Oslo has a small town feel even though it's got 700,000 people living there. I miss the subway, ironically, and I miss not being dependant on a car to get from A to B (or C for that matter). The freedom of complete movement comes with a city totally interconnected through a public transportation grid, or a more condensed area.
The movie theatres
I know, I know. US movie theatres have seats that recline and free seating order, more buttery popcorn and more fountain drinks to choose from. But take Oslo's Colosseum Kino, the world's largest THX movie theatre, which seats 1,158 people (a staggering 2,100 before the fire of 1963), for example. Now, that's a movie theatre! Fully electronic ticketing systems (purchase online, print the tickets at home or at the theatre), overly stocked candy stores and kiosks (with Norwegian chokolate, hey), and the subway taking you to the front door whenever needed, that has any of SD's movie theatre experiences beat. Gotta love the reclinable seats here, though.
Norwegian culture and language
Sure, Norwegian has fewer words and phrases for expressing exactly what you mean, but at least it sounds cool and demands more tongue artistry of the speaker. Norwegians, while maybe shy and even arrogant and rude to begin with, open up like a Pandora's box of joy when they feel comfortable enough. Norwegians in general play few mind games, calling it as they see it is a fundamental Norwegian trait. No BS, as you would say. That's refreshing. Drinking culture is a chapter by itself, with their vorspiels, nachspiels, and general drunken craziness way into the wee hours of the morning. Vikings party hard by nature.
Exotic Foods
And with this, I'm not just meaning that I miss kjøttkaker (meat cakes), mackerel in tomato sauce, liver patè spread on bread, Pizza Grandiosa, or even my beloved chili nuts. I mean all the truly exotic foods you can find in Oslo. On top of my long list is the indian food (best: The Zaika Restaurant), closely followed by thai (best: Jaja's Restaurant), and of course, Turkish kebabs in pita bread (best: Vinny's Kebabs and Bislett Kebab House). My mouth is literally watering right now, that's how much I miss all that stuff. It's a given though, that no country does Tex-Mex food (of course) as well as the US.
Tiny Grocery Stores
Yes. I love Wal*Mart. And I always will. But, this must be said, Wal*Marts have no personality. Now, in Norway grocery stores are still only about food, and thus significantly smaller in size. They have a much smaller selection for each food type, but this is something Norwegians are fine with - the choice happens to be between cheap and regular priced items of the same (approximate) quality, and hence less time is spent choosing between millions of brands for each bread you're buying. The country has only a few chains of grocery stores (Rema 1000, Rimi, COOP, Bunnpris, and a few more), but given the country's size, this suffices plenty. With small stores, and this is what I kind of miss, you can go right in and come right out in a matter of minutes, still having bought what you wanted, and without walking forever from the soaps to the vegetables. Grocery shopping isn't really a pastime in Norway, that's all.
No worries, I'll probably think of more later. And I'll give you the equally long list of things I think are better in the US of A, as well.
We all love words, and the power they can have when applied correctly. Words, like images, have the inherent potential of meaning so much more than their individual letters, illustrating exactly what we wish to portray in a way guided by our own personalities. There are, however, people out there (or right here, depending on where you are) who abuse this power so often, to such an extent, that it seems the right to speak one's mind should be revoked in some instances. The first kind of abuse comes in the form of ignorance (and its cousin hatred), when people just blurt out whatever inappropriate things they might be feeling. That is a completely different discussion. The thing that I want to address in today's little rant, is the concept of abstract bullcrap.
Abstract bullcrap can be compared to a cucumber, or even a colorful balloon. So beautiful, so shapely and pleasing to the eye, but completely devoid of any real relevance to us. Cut it in two, or poke a hole in it, and all you have is water and helium everywhere, respectively. Amazingly, though, there are still people who have this as their main form of conversation or expression, surrounding themselves with empty, inflated words in order to seem either smart, reflected, or artistic (oftentimes all of the above). Sadly, this is true for many of today's aspiring poets, and for many of today's teachers in the humanities (or, as is my case, nursing), as well as way too many of my fellow students nowadays. Hidden behind the term 'abstract,' these people get to spew out clichès, platitudes, and other little monologues of absolutely no relevance or meaning, receiving praise from other, less perceptive (or intellectually sceptical) individuals. Most of the time, no criteria of substance, factual evidence, or even coherency is demanded, as long as it sounds clever, insightful, and uses enough big, complex words.
The abtract bullcrap poet is the most prevalent form of bullcrapper online, seeing as the sceptics in other arenas seem to (for the time being) be aware of them and to deal with them appropriately. The abstract poem, manufactured in less than 2 minutes and demanding nothing more than a feel for sentence structures, should be relatively easy to spot. That's why it's so astonishing that people don't do so more often, and that these "poets" (notice my quotation marks) get any fans or readers at all. In fact, before I go any further, let me give it a whack:
Fall leaves Good riddance, never astounded Disappointing its minions Fall falls while we stand Trembling at the prospect Knowing is no more.
Ah, braaaavo, bravo. Again, again! No. The fact is, and let me emphasize this part, anything can mean everything. Then again, and this is my point, the opposite is equally true. Everything can mean anything, meaning that the abstract form of expression (here referring to verbal and written abstraction) usually means only what each individual interprets it as being. So, in fact, the next time something so abstract sounds oh, so beautiful and true, give yourself a pat on the back. In a sense, you wrote it, you are responsible for the beautiful part of it, seeing as the cunning abstract linguists are just providing you with the empty glass for you to fill with actual meaning. The people who in daily life, in class or elsewhere, spew out redundancies and abstractions, are simply masking their own lack of factual knowledge with whatever empty sentences enter their minds, well knowing these sentences are always true to some extent (and also true in almost any context, amazingly) but never specific or factual enough for them to be called out on the factual basis of their arguments.
My hope is that more people will put these people to the test, seeing as the abstract bullcrappers' worst nightmare is being forced to answer factually based specific questions. The best ones will always manage to get away somehow, but at least the rest will be forced to read up and join the real world after a while. Nothing is more annoying than redundant abstractions, when having to sit right there and having exposed what is going on, while being forced to watch most others give their praise in awe of the "brilliant" mind of the person in question. Expose the abstract bullcrappers, and demand quality over quantity when it comes to the arguments from people around you. Abstract isn't beautiful. It's bullcrap.
Today's date certainly did live up to its name in so many ways. Friday the 13th. A favorite among horror flick directors, and now, not exactly a favorite of mine. Today's post is going to concern a letter I got in the mail on this day of bad luck and superstition, a letter I think is going to be a bitter landmark in my biography whenever it is published in 98 languages and outsells the Harry Potter books. I got my draft notice today, a letter telling me that I am one of the thousands of pissed youngens summoned to serve in the country's biggest playground for an entire year; the Norwegian army. Yes, you read correctly, Christian has been drafted to the military, and has thus beaten any weak story you might have had of yourself falling down and spraining your wrist on the eerie Friday 13th, missing your prom because you lacked a healthy hand to place that pink corsage on. Forget that. This, my friend, is much worse. And if being drafted when you're 21 wasn't terrible enough, I have actually been drafted to the most remote and cold place in, possibly, the world, Troms in northern Norway.
Now, let me outline for you, exactly what my problem with this whole idea is. First of all, Norway is small. Norway is tiny. And to think Norway, with its minuscule number of armed men (and some women, in all like 20,000), might ever actually carry any weight as a military power of any kind, is a foolish pursuit better left to the people who aren't all that great in neither math nor psychology. Norway is, of course, a member of NATO, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, one of the world's most powerful defense unions. If any country was to ever attack or threaten a NATO ally, all other allies would come to the country's aid immediately. So, for the sake of this post, I will admit Norway needs a viable military force in order for it to uphold its part of the treaty and in turn be deserving of other countries' aid, but what is my problem is actually the draft itself.
An army is never stronger than its weakest link. Following this analogy, and applying it to the present-day Norwegian military, Norway couldn't even win a war with Greenland if it wanted to. The thing is, the Norwegian army uses the draft to muster up the manpower to look as if it's fulfilling its obligations as set forth by the NATO agreement, which states that all member countries must have a certain number of standing troops at all times. The problem with that is, however, that you get tens of thousands of dissatisfied, disgruntled, angry, fed up, defiant, uninterested, and most importantly unmotivated young people serving and protecting whatever brown goat cheese and lefse there is to serve and protect.
Each and every teenager who is drafted to the military nowadays has a lot of things at stake. Education and careers are finally taking off, you might just have gotten yourself a girlfriend, started to settle down, and there it comes; a letter outright ordering you to pack your bags and report to whatever place they see fit, in a matter of months. If you refuse, which is the natural reaction to being ordered to do anything once you're out of high school, the penalty can be as severe as 3 years in prison and fines so big they'll deter any runt trying to have a mind of his own and make a run for it. If you ask me, this archaic practice of drafting young hopefuls, with the threat of prison lurking in the background for anyone who's not ready to accept the ultimate power of the state over its citizens, is long overdue for a revolution. The fact is, Norway is not a communist regime. Norway is supposed, although it seems to forget this when it comes down to it, to be more like its cousin the US in the battle for a individualist society. We all agree that we should be able to make our own choices, decide the course of our own lives, and decide how to spend our time and precious years on this planet. Taking away the freedom and liberties of the citizens has conventionally been thought of as something we can only do to the criminals and wrong-doers in a society, but what we also seem to forget is that we also impose the same way on a select group of young men and women who are not guilty of anything else than bad luck and falling victim to the state's unpredictable whims. It's a severe imposition on a human being's life when forced to undergo generalized military training that is, for one, never going to be used, and, for another, the person has never volunteered to participate in. The citizens' lives aren't the whimsical pawns of any state, seeing as we are all supposed to be guaranteed freedom and certain inalienable rights, and the very fact that the armed services don't try to recruit willing, young men, and make for a more motivated and goal oriented military, is beyond me. Instead, forcing and coercing thousands of not needed others into spending an entire year of the most fruitful period of their lives somewhere they themselves haven't signed up to be, or want to be, has been the path they have chosen.
The draft is unconstitutional. Yes, the draft itself might be in the constitution and all that, but it breaches one of the more basic of acts; the society is here for the good of the people. It is here as an instrument for the individual to further his or her own dreams, and to ensure the freedom and liberties of every one of its members. The society has been given the power to punish those of its citizens that cause harm to said community or society, or its members, but that power was never meant to be used against law-abiding and innocent people. The society has no right whatsoever to force its citizens to do anything, seeing as we are individuals and are supposed to be able to govern our own lives freely. A state that takes over the control of its citizens' lives, with the threat of prison time and fines for those who don't obey, sounds eerily much like the type of societies the western world is currently waging war against. Wait… is that our own tail?
What stories make up a life? And are some stories more important than others? This fall I began a journey into the world of biology comfortably back in the US, after a year of nursing in Norway. In this blog I intend to share all the little intricacies of my life with you, and you have the option of reading it or not. But prepare to be captivated. Maybe even mesmerized.
